heartache...

november 30, 2004 a day burned into my memory.  it was the day that i delivered our 5th child.  two weeks earlier we had learned that his heart had stopped.  we choose to wait for my body to do as God designed instead of medical intervention...during those long days i felt like i was just going through the motions.  i prayed a lot, tears poured often, sometimes i was sure that there would be a miracle and his little heart would start back up, convincing all the medical community that God is bigger!  well, that didn't happen, but i still know that God is bigger!  yesterday, 6 years later i was surrounded by my 3 children, we spent the whole day together.  they are all happy, healthy, intelligent people that i am getting to raise!  the scar on my heart will always be there.  november 30 will always be a hard day for me.  i am so thankful that i can share this story, that i can be an understanding ear for other woman, and that the Lord helps heal wounds through time.  i take heart in someday being reunited with my 3 little ones i haven't meet yet, and so thankful i had the chance to hold each one for awhile, in my heart forever!